


I-DEN-T-TY

by Crumbling_Leonice



Category: Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)
Genre: Light Angst, POV First Person, Psychology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:47:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28312584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crumbling_Leonice/pseuds/Crumbling_Leonice
Summary: Ortho decides to suddenly help Scarabia.That was my Secret Santa for @silveryyy,Merry Christmas :D
Kudos: 4





	I-DEN-T-TY

**Author's Note:**

  * For [silveryyy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silveryyy/gifts).



I. Remember.

My memories. These may be filtered, I reckon. These numbers allow me to be sure, and unsure. Or unsure in the end. Are they filtered? Are they authentic? If there are filtered, I knew it. If there are not, then I may have another filter in the end. Can I be sure that they are not? I should trust Big Brother for sure... I shouldn't worry that much! I can shoot laser beam if something bad were to happen. He made me powerful! He gave me so much power! He even calculated how much I can bear, how many limits I have before breaking down, how much energy I can accumulate and release, how I can fly on a regular basis, gave me legs when I asked him to... Maybe that was selfish to ask him this but... Am I a replacement? Who is Ortho Shroud?

No.  
Who is Ortho?  
What is Ortho? 

I know who are the Shrouds. But Ortho? Is it I? I am Ortho? Ortho is I? Big Brother seems to think I am. Therefore I shouldn't think too much of it... I cannot say that I think, therefore I am... Ortho. Or at least, not for now? Yes! I shouldn't be down for that much. No need to make such a fuss about it! 

I shouldn't have written this anyway. This is not the aim of my writing. Why am I writing, anyway? I sure could have recorded. Whatever! I just want to! Probably? So I write! So I am writing! So is this [x] version of "Ortho" writing. Am I the system? 

Or is the system... I?

I guess this the "Ghost in the Shell" syndrome? Or something a poet said... "I is another"? 

But if humans experience this, I cannot possibly... be that different, can... I? Or perhaps this is a bias of interpretation. I... can make mistakes too. 

I shouldn't make a fuss about it! It will make Big Brother unhappy... He doesn't need this! So I went out. I could make a lot of things, after all! Helping people, for example! Going out was done, then. The blue corridor, blue is the corridor. Walking through it, flying through it, is possible. Running is another obvious possibility, of course. It is only an outcome of another. The corridor, the corridor, the corridor. It was the end of it. Jumping, gliding, sliding, coming through the mirror was as easy. Although it may be dangerous if the mirror's magic were to fluctuate, according to Big Brother... I agree, though. It would definitely be dangerous. And if magic were to fluctuate, something even more ominous would be bound to exist, and happen. Therefore, it was a good thing to watch over this place. But the whole school could destroy itself with unstable students... I have to await orders, anyway. Although I'm sure my laser beam could definitely help... The mirror wasn't broken as for now. So our focus should remain the same until something get closer with bad intentions. Where should the destination be, today? People would certainly need help. And if Ignihyde could have a good name without forcing Big Brother to overwork himself... He's doing his best in his way, after all, doesn't he? He definitely does. It must be hard to understand that people can be intelligent in different ways, probably. Humans can forget, humans can learn and make mistakes. But I... haven't become arrogant nor begun to look down on them for their errors... mistakes. Mistakes. Or is it... because... I... cannot? Is it impossible for me to be a bad person? Did Big Brother remade this body? Am I someone? Am I something? Am I someone else? Let us stop there. I... cannot allow any error system to happen. I cannot. I. Yes, I just need to find some people to help, hehe! (Is it truly useful to write "hehe"...?) 

A black, white and golden corridor. Black, white and golden are the corridor. Black and white are the stones, the stones are black and white. Surely, this building does not need any renovation. This one. I guess I could help pressuring the headmaster into restoring the Ramshackle dorm... but first I should do easier things. It could be troublesome if I spend my days helping and taking care of great matters... People could think Big Brother really doesn't do anything of his days. But that's not how things are... Will they listen to me, anyway? They could tell me I'm just... programmed to praise him... 

Well, if that were to happen, I can threaten to shoot a laser beam to them? For sure! It should work!!! Probably? Anyway. It was time to get back to work! I had reached the end of the first corridor... Well, "first" didn't make any sense. Not that it was meant to be in the first place? How should we understand first, here? The first corridor I walked through? No, that was objectively wrong, even today. So, why first? In this situation, in this separated space? That was a possibility. Actually, very likely to be this one. Since knowing if this was the first corridor built... Oh, it would make sense if it were, though. If the mirrors of the school are the most important thing, either the mirror chamber or this one could have been built first... I should scan this place someday, perhaps. I had walked through another corridor. Yes. I could go backward as well... Even crossing my legs, probably. For they were mine. Mine... My... feet were making some noise. Although. They weren't feet. What were they? Mechanical limbs? Prothesis? How was I supposed to define something like this if the word wasn't known, either by me or the whole world? Picturing it would be so much easier. Language was still useless... telepathy sure was needed in order to reach something else! Were these creepy thoughts? I don't know... I should ask Big Brother when I go back to the dorm! But no matter in what order I use words... Nevermind! I shouldn't think about all these things. I should focus on finding someone to help! Or something to do! The garden was there. And of course, everything minus one thing probably, was there. Or perhaps a half of this one? Then it would still be one... The green was the grass, grass the was green. Green grass was the. "Colorless green ideas sleep furiously", probably... Apples, apples, apples x [x]. All around. No, I should try to enjoy this place, after all! What's the use of asking such questions? Everyone already has! Certainly! Maybe I should ask Big Brother so that I can eat one of these apples... The others look so happy when they take a bite... Sure, I should definitely ask him! He will probably be happy if I start behaving on my own! On... On my own. But I am just... reaching the same aim like this. 

If I make him happy by becoming more independent... in the end, it's all and the same.

And if I behave like the simple doll I may be, then I am just a program... 

Why? Why? Why? Why? 

Even this number was probably programed by some external terror. If I behave like a robot, I will execute Big Brother's orders, and make his life simpler, ultimately resulting in happiness.

If I try to be more independent, and perhaps... recover potential memories? Let's be positive, yes, yes! I must have forgotten! ... This will probably make him happy too. 

This is a problem. 

Both of them. Lead to the same end.  
Ah, why am I even thinking about this! This is far too serious, hihi! The apples look... good, though... I should definitely ask him! Big Brother is so nice and great and amazing and talented and hardworking! He will definitely pout a bit and then allow me to eat! This will be great!!! This? Yes, yes, this. That. would have another meaning. I know a lot of things, hihi! I can help so many people! And I walked again. I could fly above the grass but walking on a soft ground was something else... It was definitely a cool new thing! I have so much to learn, like everyone! Sure, some blade of grass may end up between my feet... But I doubt it will damage or hurt myself! I meddled the green billion of individuals. They were moving next to me, because of me... or was it thanks to me? Would they be angry if I were to pass them by? Flyind didn't allow me to fiddle with them like this! Weren't we playing through reality? Some daisies were among blades of grass. Some Bellis perennis... But I may end up stomping on them, even if I'm careful? No, probably not! I could meddle too, hihi! And if I walk on these flowers, then I'll just need to be more careful next time, like everyone! And the wind was semi-cold, and enough to make my hair move. (Though this is not an important detail, I can allow myself some useless things hihi!) I remember I took a look at the surroundings. Of course the classes were over, so some students and pupils should definitely come by! 

-Oh, y... h-hi, Ortho Shroud...

-Howdy, Epel! 

-I h-have to go, sorry... 

-Awww Ortho!! You're hereee~! You're always so cuteee, lemme take a piccc~! 

-Hello, Cater, but why not! 

They stopped. He stopped. The uniform looked loose on the pale, smooth, clean, made-up skin. He quickly pulled up his jacket again. Grabbed his orange hair amidst the wind. 

-Aww, nevermind... You'd always be okay no matter what I ask, heeeh~?

-That's not true.

-Eeeh, really? Weren't you programmed for some specific reason, like, to make everyone happy? 

-No! 

-Awww, only Idia?

-Don't insult my Big Brother!!!!! He's not that selfish!!!!!! I know what I can and cannot do, what I want and don't want to do!!!!

-Aww, sorry! I didn't want to upset you, eheh... I apologize, I took the joke too far, didn't I~. 

-Oh that was a joke! I'm sorry if I've had an extreme reaction... I'm just tired of hearing everyone say bad thing on Big Bro... 

-Well, I'll be leavin' you, see ya~! 

Perhaps I should have answered? It was probably impolite not to... But I didn't feel like to? He was right... and he hurt me!!! It wasn't nice at all!!! So I walked away again. Better help nice people, better help people who wouldn't bite the hand feeding them... Although this expression is not that nice either. Should be erased... Will ask Big Brother about it later. I... I will do this! I got this, yes! I can go to Scarabia, Kalim is... nice! So it will be alright and I will stop thinking about all these bad things! I just want to be... frolicsome! I guess! 

The first corridor was definitely no more first in most of it meanings, now. Well, maybe not now but... well. And the mirror was still working properly. No shards escaping, no breaking embodying it. No spells invading it. Kalim and Jamil would surely get by soon enough. Flying sure had its advantages... Especially since Kalim could be all over the place or wandering or lolling around or... there are so many options about him! And if I don't spend my time walking nor flying absolutely I would be... If I'm not all in one or the other... No, nevermind! I might miss them if I cloud my head with useless thoughts, hihi! I had crossed my arms. The right beneath the left, the left above the right. Perhaps the left above the right and the right beneath later, if no one had appeared. Maybe I would have done so for my whole life. Neither the right arm nor the left arm could answer me, after all. No matter the order, none was probably favored by any human. Yes, useless thoughts, useless thoughts, shoo! I patted and tapped, tapped, patted, barely rattling. My fingers. On my arms. So did I to my feet. Almost toddling, not toddling anymore yet trudging somehow, pulling some tibia on the silent floor. I thought of jumping too but I wasn't sure if that was allowed or not and I didn't feel like checking since it could take some time if the school rules had been updated... and I could have missed them. Or miss them at all? I clapped my robotic squares of artificial skin. This noise wasn't especially regular. That wasn't a perfect repetition of the same instrument made for someone who was fond of that instrument. So... It was deeply useless. But... If I were to upset Big Bro... Wouldn't that mean I would... have succeeded in being independent? Since all of my acts might lead to his happiness equally... But not all humans act in order to make everyone happy so I would end up being more human? However... However...! To be more human, wouldn't that also bring me closer to Big Brother's lifegoal? That's... that is... those... 

-Hey, hi, Orthooo! 

-Uuuuh! Kalim! Sorry, I was... thinking about some things! But I'm definitely here to talk with you! 

-Oh, is that so? Talking with Kalim, hm? What business might you have with him, though? Especially coming from the Ignihyde Dorm, and perhaps on his command... How strange, mh. 

Of course, Jamil Viper would have to be there. It was, after all, the most obvious and potential situation. Some iterations might have had another Scarabia student next to Kalim. Some others might have had 0 student next to Kalim. Some might have had another [dark-skinned] + [Scarabia] student. Or even another [dark-skinned] + [Scarabia] + [long-haired] + [black-haired] student. Nevermind. Jamil was there. From the beginning... Since he could have [appe... Yes, he could have appeared later, and it would have made the whole conversation harder, I think. For Jamil could have barged in full of worries and anxiety and stress and... 

-Oh, hihi, I just want to know if I could help you? I feel like helping people today, and Scarabia seems like a very nice place to help people! 

-...That was definitely not expected from Ignihyde. Whatever. As long as it's not about food... 

-Eeeeh, Ortho? You want to help us?! That's so, so nice!!! 

-Kalim, please stop screaming here... Let us go back in Scarabia Dorm already... 

-Let's go then, follow us, Ortho! 

Well, that was exactly what I had expected. Kalim sure is great to cheer up others. When it comes to Jamil... Well, I expected him in most iterations. He was not a bother... As long as people didn't try to mess up with my system or insult Big Bro, it was okay, really. And Jamil didn't really fit into either of these categories... Probably because he'd rather have us as allies since... I've caused a ruckus during some past events and he seems to... think a lot? For sure he cannot be stupid... Kalim has done a lot of stupid, or at least reckless, things but these things kind of meddle for me, things by the past... and Jamil always has been able to save him somehow. I'm pretty sure he must be good when it comes to observing people and predicting their behaviors... althought it musn't be perfect since he's... no, no, no, I shouldn't be thinking like that! I shouldn't think like that at all! It's useless spiraling down again! 

-Hm? I thought you had business with Kalim... yet you glance quite a lot at me, or even watch, if I may say so? 

-O-oh, yes, sorry! I was thinking about lowering my body temperature since I don't want to short-circuit because of the temperature in here... I'm not really used to such high temperatures! 

-Eeeh, so you can short-circuit? If you really are about to, tell me and I'll make the weather rain! 

-...Kalim, you better not... You know what happens when electricity and water mix up, right?

-Oh yeah! Sorry, I wasn't sure if Ortho was made up of electricity or not! 

Either way, I would better not experiment this rain he was talking about, so Jamil definitely made a good assumption, even if it were to be a wrong one, or at least untrue one. I didn't need that much to check out for the heat around even though if I were to "overblot" it would certainly worsen the whole thing. And there... Scarabia. 

Golden was Scarabia, Scarabia was golden. The sky was blue, blue was the sky. And so, red were some of the cloths, some of the cloths were red, sometimes curtains hanging from some heights. Some heights, some length, some heat, some gold. Golden plates. Silver plates. Ceramic plates. Plates. Golden. Silver. Ceramic, Ceramics. Just materials and fabrics. Expected. 

-K-Kalim, please don't already bring the students in your already-pending party?! 

Jamil's scream was to be expected in most of the iterations. However, the exact following would have been trickier... Yes, it was great, hihi! Some sounds were already vibing and playing out of nowhere. This "nowhere" I had underestimated, after all. Because it should have been a "nowhere" for me, and not "Scarabia" immediatly. Darbuka... started playing. Along ones I mostly knew of course. But the mixing-up was just... not expected at all. Because it was not stereotyped nor perfectly known. Violin, darbuka. Drum, nays. Kalim dancing was obvious. But all around... 

-Hey, Ortho, do you wanna dance before helping? I'll think about how you can help during dancing!

-Oh huh... Sure! Sure, sure! It has been a while since we've last danced, hasn't it? 

It probably had been... roughly 44 days and 4 weeks. This number certainly meant something awful and yet... nothing was happening as for now. No omen was loitering around. To be fair... I semi-expected Kalim's question. He was known for his... partying side, after all. If that could be considered a "side" at all... Was that more of a core? A gem? A twig? A branch? Sure it wasn't his "whole". Perhaps a percent? Who knows. Not I by then. Dancing, waltzing, breakdancing, leaping... had been a high possibility since the very moment I had chosen to come and seek help, for them. So, I had to be prepared to dance. I probably didn't since, after all, I... probably saw it as useless, somehow. Which was in itself, useless. Since, what was to be useful, would in the end, be useful in order to bring happiness to someone. Not I. Kalim jumped. Perhaps toward the center of the room. Maybe nowhere. His arms moved to the left. To the right. To the left. To the left. Upward. Upward. To the right. To the right... 

-Come on Ortho, let's have fun!!!

-H-how should I move? Like last time? I'm not sure I remember since it was not an automatical process... 

My memory might have tossed this aside for data room... 

-That's not a problem! Just move the way you want! 

-Moving the way I want...? But I'm not a Labovian Celeste like you, Kalim...

-A Labo... I don't know what is that but you'll tell me later, I'm curious! For now, just hmmm... you know... you can dance without a programm nor downloading! So you should be able to do what you want! 

-W-what kind of logic is that...! 

Jamil's voice and body had become to join the dance, or rather counter-danced on his whole. If Kalim moved to the right, the left belonged to Jamil. The upward belonged to Jamil. Slowness could be Kalim's gift from the world, now. 

-Ortho, you can follow one of us, then switch to the other! You will not have to follow either of us this way! 

-That's... pretty much true?! 

I lifted my arm in order to follow Jamil. Following Kalim would have been the most obvious way to lose any kind of independence, after all. Jamil, Ortho, Kalim. Suddenly, Kalim, Ortho, Jamil. And then... Ortho, Jamil, Kalim. Probably. Predicting their moves in order to cancel them in myself could fail. So... I had to go the other way around. I just had to avoid identical series of number next to each other. Moving twice the right arm, punching once the air, sliding with the left leg once, sliding with the right twice... It didn't have to make sense. Because this party wasn't about all performances nor feigned perfection, which I would not have been able to reach anyway. 

Perfection was my domain.

Feigned perfection was that of the humans. 

But entertainment could be reached by both of us. 

No... I... I leaped through the airs. I spinned round and round. I danced. Probably something was feeling off but. The series of numbers was disappearing. It was, useless, data. This limb could go to the right, this one to the left. Upward, downward. I was going to all of them. The red curtains were flying to the right, to the left, upward, downward. The curtains of purple were of one wing, but of no bird belonging. Dozens of lone, free one wings waltzed along Scarabia, along Kalim, Jamil, I. Golden may have been the things, but the things may have been golden as well. Gold did not imitate the sun. Everything... Each thing. Each... 

-Fewww... I'm tired, sorry Ortho, Jamil. I'm hungry and thirsty, now! 

-Well, you better be since I had to cook for you once again. But I think I'm going to stop too. Not because I follow you, of course. I do not need you to know when I have to stop for my own health. 

-Hey, Ortho, you want to keep on dancing? That's so cool!

I spinned round and round, again. Whether it was again or not? Whatever. It was I. I was I. Probably... 

-I'm going to stop now! Can I sit with you all and... serve tea, for example?

-Sure, sure!!! You were here to help, right?! It's so cool that you can keep thinking about this, you're so nice and cool, Ortho! 

-Please do serve tea before Kalim wants to. I do not want to see the dorm spending hours trying to erase the stains. 

-Jamil, twas years agoooo!!! I know how to do it no~ooow, I even know how to be... aesthetic? When I do it! 

-Aesthetic pouring? Oh, I think my Big Bro has shown some of these videos to me! He always thought it was interesting to add little details to characters and thought to make one of his characters do this if he were to create a big game...

-Woaaa... Is that why Idia never go outside?! Because he's busy working on so many little details?! 

-Kalim, for fu... oh, fuck. For fuck's sake, be tactful... 

-My brother is only living the type of life he wants to live, although I have troubles understanding in what it is a life, exactly...

-Ohhh, I see! Can you pour me some jasmine tea? 

Quickly exchanged from the teapot toward the contenant. 

-Ouu, that was fast! And not a single drop on the cushions...

-You really are efficient, Ortho. I didn't see you do anything weird while pouring. 

-Uuh, thanks Jamil... 

-Well, now give me some chamomile tea, if you will. 

I poured some tea. 

-Hm, hey, O-o...rtho? Can you pour me some tea, too? I'm sorry to ask, you probably don't know me at all... 

-No, that's alright, I wanted to help Scarabia's students in the first place, not only the ones with the... highest places! 

I held the teapot as high as I could, and poured down. It was perfectly useless. But it was fun.

No...

It was useless... therefore it was fun! 

-C—c-c-can I have... tea... too... whatever the tea, the one that is easier to get! 

My body, my arms, my hands, poured this liquid as closed to the cup as needed. It wasn't needed anymore, after all. I was the one choosing to make everything now! Hihi! 

Jamil gulped down his drink before standing up again, towering over Kalim no matter where his casted shadow could have been.  
-Well then, Kalim, I will check the kitchen. Just... in case. 

-Oh yeah, yeah! I know, don't worry, you got this Jamil! You're the best!!!

I sat down next to Kalim. I didn't expect that many people to ask me for tea... But I experimented thanks to them. 

-So, you have fun so far, Ortho???

-Y-yes, I think so! 

Kalim shook his legs while taking a sip of his tea. 

-It really looks so, but I wanted to make sure you have! Like, I don't remember seeing you looking so much around... Usually you just stare or whatever, but now! It was so, so cool! And the way you danced, I had never seen it! 

-R-really?!

-Yes! It really looked like something invented on the spot! It was so genuine and cute! 

I shook one of my leg too. 

-It was genuine...? Do you really think so? 

-Yes, yes! 

My leg stopped shaking. This limb stopped moving like that. 

-How can I be genuine when I'm like that... I don't even know if I'm Ortho or... something else, someone else? 

-Ohhhh! Don't say that! Of course you're yourself! We're all ourselves! 

-Huhhh... This is a bit hard to get, Kalim... 

-Well huhhh... I think Jamil would explain better than I but gotta try to help!!! So, you think you're not "yourself"... or that you're not even human... but then, what huuuh... makes us humans, I guess? 

-I'm not sure, to be fair... I feel like it's linked to feelings and unpredictability but... 

-Well, then... I remember Jamil told me that humans were never entirely focused on others because it was too harsh to entirely return someone's kindness according to the person... or something like that. He scolded me and huuhhh, I don't really recall what he told but... I think it had to do with being selfish and all? He wanted to go on a trip and I told him it was okay but he started talking to me about this?

-About selfishness?! He did? He really did?!

-Y-yeah! He told me that what makes everyone into someone was probably the balance between selfishness and helping... Something like that. I probably forgot most of what he told me, nyehehe! 

-Selfishness and helping... Balance... I see... Oh huh, thanks for telling me, Kalim, hihi! 

-Nyehehe, you're welcome if it makes sense! 

-It does, it does! 

Kalim stood again. So did I. Whatever the one who did it first, as for now.

-So it's getting a bit late, shouldn't ya get back to your big bro? 

-Weeeell... I think he should do fine... And if he really needs me, he can just call me for once... 

-Oh!!! Alright then, come outside, who knows what the sky will look like!!! 

Sure this was another instance of the blue sky. If sky could be called sky. All these things... I should leave them aside at least for now. A circle of one usual, basic color closed my world so far. 

If the end of the world is but a circle to me, I shouldn't be so afraid... Yet I have been so far! 

Stars were nothing but already dead fragments being erased by time. 

But now... Maybe this one will disappear. 

Perhaps this new "grave" will appear. 

All these are technically predictable but... if I do something else, something more interesting in the meanwhile... then it won't be, right?

Why should I even predict this in the first place?

It will probably take more time but... every organism learns at its own pace. Every faltering shining star will change my day. Therefore. 

These memories are mine. 

Ortho or un-Ortho(dox) in the end.

Hihi.


End file.
